I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
