It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
