Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
