I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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