if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
