All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
