so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
