You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
