and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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