You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
