How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize