I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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