I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
