you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
