Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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