Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
