So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
