I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize