PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
me + whiskey = a bad person
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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