Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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