hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
