So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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