I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
