is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
