You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
