no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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