I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize