I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
