this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
