This is not my ceiling
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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