You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize