We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
