I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
