the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
