the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
