JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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