On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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