Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
