I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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