I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
