I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
