It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
