Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
