Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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