Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
