Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
