better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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