oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
