So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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