oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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