this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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