Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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