any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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