Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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