Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Found your dick twin last night
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
