Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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